it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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