Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
