oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
