Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
