I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
