i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize