It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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