Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
