I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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