2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
