party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize