I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize