I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
