His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
