Texts From Last Night

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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  So drunk i had to piss sitting down...

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  (803): So drunk i had to piss sitting down... http://tfl.nu/050t
  Replies (7) Good night (1021) Bad night (468)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin

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  (330): Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin http://tfl.nu/9p6z
  Replies (1) Good night (2050) Bad night (497)
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  (516): View more from New York

  i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk

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  (516): i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk http://tfl.nu/o6oo
  Replies (63) Good night (9463) Bad night (710)
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  (925): View more from California

  I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs

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  (925): I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs http://tfl.nu/k9ok
  Replies (13) Good night (731) Bad night (4116)
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  (909): View more from California

  I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.

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  (909): I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars. http://tfl.nu/cj0n
  Replies (39) Good night (798) Bad night (6437)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.

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  (850): He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person. http://tfl.nu/yofm
  Replies (13) Good night (735) Bad night (4255)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.

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  (517): Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%. http://tfl.nu/8x9e
  Replies (19) Good night (904) Bad night (4122)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.

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  (614): Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning. http://tfl.nu/bnwl
  Replies (10) Good night (7039) Bad night (655)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian

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  (613): My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian http://tfl.nu/6wog
  Replies (63) Good night (8476) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.

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  (570): I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up. http://tfl.nu/kls9
  Replies (14) Good night (1126) Bad night (3844)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction

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  (505): i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction http://tfl.nu/hb6q
  Replies (10) Good night (914) Bad night (4448)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.

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  (775): You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun. http://tfl.nu/rs7k
  Replies (6) Good night (2413) Bad night (752)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex

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  (402): let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex http://tfl.nu/z1hh
  Replies (13) Good night (3071) Bad night (763)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.

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  (519): Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked. http://tfl.nu/677j
  Replies (6) Good night (440) Bad night (1207)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.

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  (716): I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea. http://tfl.nu/jnx6
  Replies (2) Good night (555) Bad night (182)

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