I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
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There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?