Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore

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  (703): i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore http://tfl.nu/70pj
  Replies (32) Good night (3060) Bad night (905)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!

  (1-903): View more from Texas

  What does that even mean?

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  (903): I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude! (1-903): What does that even mean? http://tfl.nu/qhna
  Replies (30) Good night (1305) Bad night (5199)
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  (516): View more from New York

  You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online

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  (516): You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online http://tfl.nu/xicc
  Replies (11) Good night (4102) Bad night (1302)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.

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  (702): Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter. http://tfl.nu/2ees
  Replies (26) Good night (1855) Bad night (16447)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.

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  (631): Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants. http://tfl.nu/35y8
  Replies (9) Good night (2588) Bad night (1049)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there

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  (413): I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there http://tfl.nu/ehji
  Replies (16) Good night (2847) Bad night (966)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.

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  (519): I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT. http://tfl.nu/zwn2
  Replies (3) Good night (2749) Bad night (669)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.

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  (614): Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm. http://tfl.nu/3dw9
  Replies (22) Good night (1909) Bad night (704)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.

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  (774): I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it. http://tfl.nu/ttfm
  Replies (27) Good night (4787) Bad night (999)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me

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  (203): I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me http://tfl.nu/e1ma
  Replies (5) Good night (1177) Bad night (611)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?

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  (320): How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...? http://tfl.nu/7ruq
  Replies (8) Good night (911) Bad night (427)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick

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  (402): I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick http://tfl.nu/ipiq
  Replies (3) Good night (437) Bad night (847)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs

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  (269): You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs http://tfl.nu/fy9x
  Replies (5) Good night (904) Bad night (367)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend

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  (607): Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend http://tfl.nu/0ja4
  Replies (2) Good night (743) Bad night (417)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad

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  (319): She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad http://tfl.nu/w994
  Replies (1) Good night (559) Bad night (314)

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