so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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