ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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