Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
