haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
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