after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize