And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
