Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We had sex on a dog bed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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