That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
