:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
