20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
