I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
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and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
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Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I got inside last night via doggy door
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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