Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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