Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
