They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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