I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
