Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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