i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
