Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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