Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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