There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
