I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
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I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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