when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
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I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
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Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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