Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
