I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
