lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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