He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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