I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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