would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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