im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
