what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
