Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize