K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
