I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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