He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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