weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
