Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
