You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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