Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
