Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize