Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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