I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
