Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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