Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
