The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
