It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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