I think my vagina is haunted
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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