We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
